About Me

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Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia

Friday, October 7, 2011



Ya Allah,
this heartbreak has been going on for too long.

My love for that particular servant of yours: is very real. With all my 23years-ageing-heart and it shrink-ed the liver whenever I think of him. I was/ am never a woman with  lovely gestures but the love we had once completed me. I am sorry he did not felt the same way. I failed before it could ever resume. 

I understand how far it is more difficult to forgive myself than to forgive others. What I felt in my previous relationships was real. Even when I was a dumber, my feelings were real.

To lose a partner at this age when all possible future together had been designed in my head, is greatly painful. At this age, I don’t want romantic dinner at fancy restaurant or go strolling at the mall anymore. At this age, I just want a place that makes me feel like I am truly belong. Like he is made to hold me.

Memories rolling in my mind like a film reel. It all happened too sudden, too simple. Just how effortless YOU lends and takes. How thin this lifeline is.So I stopped and syahadah. Astaghfirullah.

Ya Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim,

I am still learning on life and love.  I know, the only way that could keep me going is by having faith. I believe YOU. Telling myself that one day, there will be 'him' for me. All I need to do now is move forward, although falling between time and places will come in between. I loved him. I love him. and really really do. Please guide me to overcome the heartbreaking moments. I believe in your power of healing and everything that has been secretively written. Nothing that I am begging, except for a courage to become stronger.

YOU are forever just and fair.

Please grant my du'a. Make him happier with his future choice. Ikhlas.Ikhlas.Ikhlas. Ameen.


"Allah Maha Tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kau sekalipun ia menghancurkan kau."

I am letting go now.