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Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia
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Friday, October 7, 2011

Cinta

Bismillahirahmanirrahim.

Ya Allah,
this heartbreak has been going on for too long.

My love for that particular servant of yours: is very real. With all my 23years-ageing-heart and it shrink-ed the liver whenever I think of him. I was/ am never a woman with  lovely gestures but the love we had once completed me. I am sorry he did not felt the same way. I failed before it could ever resume. 

I understand how far it is more difficult to forgive myself than to forgive others. What I felt in my previous relationships was real. Even when I was a dumber, my feelings were real.

To lose a partner at this age when all possible future together had been designed in my head, is greatly painful. At this age, I don’t want romantic dinner at fancy restaurant or go strolling at the mall anymore. At this age, I just want a place that makes me feel like I am truly belong. Like he is made to hold me.

Memories rolling in my mind like a film reel. It all happened too sudden, too simple. Just how effortless YOU lends and takes. How thin this lifeline is.So I stopped and syahadah. Astaghfirullah.

Ya Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim,

I am still learning on life and love.  I know, the only way that could keep me going is by having faith. I believe YOU. Telling myself that one day, there will be 'him' for me. All I need to do now is move forward, although falling between time and places will come in between. I loved him. I love him. and really really do. Please guide me to overcome the heartbreaking moments. I believe in your power of healing and everything that has been secretively written. Nothing that I am begging, except for a courage to become stronger.

YOU are forever just and fair.

Please grant my du'a. Make him happier with his future choice. Ikhlas.Ikhlas.Ikhlas. Ameen.

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"Allah Maha Tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kau sekalipun ia menghancurkan kau."
                                                                                                                   -wnrd-









I am letting go now.