About Me

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Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Before tomorrow .

It has been stretched since the last time I tapped the keyboard. Alas, many of the entries have been deleted not due to obstruction or bizzare perceptions. I just thought they are not worth re-impressed.
I miss writing. And, I miss reading.

Shared Service Room
Acc & Finance
Total days before official resignation: 1
Damansara Perdana

Today I was simply clueless of what to write. I knew I wanted to write my mind expressively, but I didn’t know what line it should start with. The fact that I had so many stories in my list didn’t help either. I was too unwell to make a decision, and I am a picky person. Somehow this week; everything was consuming too much of my energy and emotions.

 It was something I couldn’t understand but I was nonetheless, grateful, for all presences and generous share of such inspiring experiences.

Some of my all time fav quote from Kak Wani:

" Sabar boleh jadi benda paling payah.
Ada masa dia jadi benda yang kita dengar pun dah benci.
Tapi itulah satu-satu jaring yang pegang kita dari jatuh gaung.
Tak ada dia kita boleh mati "

"Kalau awak rasa minda awak sudah berfikir terlalu luas hingga meresahkan hati, kecilkan.
I think life is already complicated. I believe it’s our job (and challenge) to simplify."

" Masa kita dalam perut lagi Allah dah sediakan susu. Sebelum kita ada, rezeki dah ada dulu. Jadi jangan kata "takda rezeki". Rezeki ada, cuma kita kena cari. :) "


Heeeessh. My heart crumbled like it was a baby itself.I was too much of a young youth to fully digest what my career and love life had clarified. Discovering the reality of my decision at that split second was like the death of my imaginary career and wedding which I secretly fantasized since I was nine. I tried my very damn best not to weep while on the phone with mak as every word I recited was a slap to my face.

 So yes- at that moment, every word of RESIGN was new to me and hard on me. I fell in love with heavy loads of materials, unorganized schedules,late night assignments, jammed timing of moving the entire vault to the 3rd floor, invoices, payment chase control, receipt claims, after-office lepak, etc etc.

God, Thank You for lending me those good people for 2 months.

I peeked at bapak and mak's pictures on facebook. It’s amazing the amount of shit you could actually carry when the person you love believes in you wholeheartedly. My chest felt heavy. My nose was about to produce some liquid which my eyes were refusing. I kept on writing yet repressing my feelings. True. Allah never leaves me (or you) with nothing.
                                                                   commence date: 1/8/2011.

There was once when I think I'm screwed but God has mapped out the perfect plan for me. InsyaAllah. My decisions, though very much flawed, are made for a reason. I’m writing this for a reason.

**Semoga Sime Darby akan yakinkan saya bahawa hidup ini process belajar yang tak akan mati.