Bismillahirahmanirrahim.
Ya Allah,
this heartbreak has been going on for too long.
My love for that particular servant of yours: is very real. With all my 23years-ageing-heart and it shrink-ed the liver whenever I think of him. I was/ am never a woman with lovely gestures but the love we had once completed me. I am sorry he did not felt the same way. I failed before it could ever resume.
I understand how far it is more difficult to forgive myself than to forgive others. What I felt in my previous relationships was real. Even when I was a dumber, my feelings were real.
To lose a partner at this age when all possible future together had been designed in my head, is greatly painful. At this age, I don’t want romantic dinner at fancy restaurant or go strolling at the mall anymore. At this age, I just want a place that makes me feel like I am truly belong. Like he is made to hold me.
Memories rolling in my mind like a film reel. It all happened too sudden, too simple. Just how effortless YOU lends and takes. How thin this lifeline is.So I stopped and syahadah. Astaghfirullah.
Ya Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim,
I am still learning on life and love. I know, the only way that could keep me going is by having faith. I believe YOU. Telling myself that one day, there will be 'him' for me. All I need to do now is move forward, although falling between time and places will come in between. I loved him. I love him. and really really do. Please guide me to overcome the heartbreaking moments. I believe in your power of healing and everything that has been secretively written. Nothing that I am begging, except for a courage to become stronger.
YOU are forever just and fair.
Please grant my du'a. Make him happier with his future choice. Ikhlas.Ikhlas.Ikhlas. Ameen.
****************
"Allah Maha Tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kau sekalipun ia menghancurkan kau."
-wnrd-
I am letting go now.
Ya Allah,
this heartbreak has been going on for too long.
My love for that particular servant of yours: is very real. With all my 23years-ageing-heart and it shrink-ed the liver whenever I think of him. I was/ am never a woman with lovely gestures but the love we had once completed me. I am sorry he did not felt the same way. I failed before it could ever resume.
I understand how far it is more difficult to forgive myself than to forgive others. What I felt in my previous relationships was real. Even when I was a dumber, my feelings were real.
To lose a partner at this age when all possible future together had been designed in my head, is greatly painful. At this age, I don’t want romantic dinner at fancy restaurant or go strolling at the mall anymore. At this age, I just want a place that makes me feel like I am truly belong. Like he is made to hold me.
Memories rolling in my mind like a film reel. It all happened too sudden, too simple. Just how effortless YOU lends and takes. How thin this lifeline is.So I stopped and syahadah. Astaghfirullah.
Ya Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim,
I am still learning on life and love. I know, the only way that could keep me going is by having faith. I believe YOU. Telling myself that one day, there will be 'him' for me. All I need to do now is move forward, although falling between time and places will come in between. I loved him. I love him. and really really do. Please guide me to overcome the heartbreaking moments. I believe in your power of healing and everything that has been secretively written. Nothing that I am begging, except for a courage to become stronger.
YOU are forever just and fair.
Please grant my du'a. Make him happier with his future choice. Ikhlas.Ikhlas.Ikhlas. Ameen.
****************
"Allah Maha Tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kau sekalipun ia menghancurkan kau."
-wnrd-
I am letting go now.
